It takes time

I've been reading about stages of grief and found something I thought was pretty well-written:

"Grieving used to be much more ritualistic than it is today. In generations past there were set periods of time when certain customs must be observed. Today we are unfettered by these restrictions and might even be confused about when we should be done grieving. Actually, we'll probably never be done. We'll never forget the person we grieve for. Our feelings may be tempered more with good memories than sadness as time passes, but that isn't to say that waves of raw emotion won't overcome us way after we think we should be done. I think the trick here is to understand that the feelings will occur, try to keep them in perspective, try to understand why you feel a certain way, and if there are any unresolved issues that cause particular emotional pain, forgive yourself and others and if necessary talk with someone about it. There is no completion date to grieving...let your emotions flow through the stages of grief."

In my case I am grieving for an animal rather than a human, but as I've said, I consider pets to be family members. The pain I have experienced at Sabriel's loss proves to me that is absolutely true.

I woke up this morning and for a moment thought it was Sabriel snuggled up with us rather than Mogget. Not that I don't love Mogget--because this would have been just as painful if it was she that was gone--but I really miss Sabriel. I can't believe she's not just around the corner waiting to jump in my lap to snuggle.

I know it's going to take time for the pain to become less intense. At this point I would settle for the moment of her death to stop its repeat cycle in my mind's eye. It is simply unbearable, and impossible to forgive myself for what I know was necessary when I can't stop thinking about it.