DumSpiroSpero

PetSmart Toys: A Cautionary Tale

2008-12-16T07:13:00.003-06:00

I ordered this toy off the PetSmart website as one of the kitties' Christmas presents. It arrived yesterday. It was an instant hit, with Sebastian playing for at least a half hour and keeping the other kitties away from it and Moggie finally being able to steal it and go nuts herself. I immediately wrote a review raving about the toy and ordered two more because it's popular enough that I knew it would eventually get torn up.

The order confirmation arrived in my Inbox at 5:08 pm yesterday.

Later that night I saw Sebastian come out of their room with the toy only, no tail. Kyle and I tore the place apart and couldn't find the huge tail anywhere. I assume he ate it because that's what he does. (So far, he is still acting normal.) But this could be a serious problem and we're going to have to keep an eye on him. I emailed PetSmart at 8:58 pm asking them to cancel my order because this is a dangerous toy with the right cat.

PetSmart managed to send a SHIPMENT confirmation at 1:04 AM, but no Customer Service Rep managed to respond until 6:41 am to tell me sorry, but it already shipped (no shit).

Now I'm stuck with keeping a toy I won't use, shipping it back to PetSmart for half the price of the toys, or driving to Des Moines to return it.

Be careful what toys you get from PetSmart, and don't expect Customer Service to help you.

And now I have to go take a final.

Dark Times Breed Dark Thoughts

2008-10-14T23:49:00.004-06:00

Every once in a while, always at night, I start thinking about Sabriel and I relive the horrible ending. As always, I realize there are things I would have done differently (like taking her to the teaching hospital for a biopsy to definitively prove she had FIP before euthanizing her) but all I do is torture myself. There are those (probably many) who would question still being so saddened by the loss of a pet a year and a half after the fact, but I feel how I feel.

I admit that the pets we've gotten since then have been, at least in part, attempts to patch that hole in my heart. I love them all very much, and know that we saved one from euthanasia and another from a horrible life, but I have finally realized that Sabriel will never be replaced. There will always be that little piece missing because of her. And I suppose I'm ok knowing that piece is gone because of everything she gave me while she was here.

I will lose a piece with every pet over time. That is the the great joy and tragedy of loving them. Their lifespan is dwarfed by our own so we are left mourning their loss time and again.

I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

Don't Vote

2008-10-02T17:06:00.000-06:00

Old tractor parts?!

2008-09-02T13:23:00.005-06:00

I have to thank Dr. Sponseller for showing this in class because I had never run across it before. Supposedly it was an engineering project by kids at a university that built it out of old tractor parts. It is phenomenal.

Bon appetit!

edit://Just read it's cgi...I don't care, it's still totally awesome.

And the hits just keep on coming

2008-09-01T18:17:00.002-06:00

Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is 5 months pregnant and will marry the father of her child. As if the poor kid would have had any other choice with the family she's grown up in. They're probably forcing her into the marriage to save her mom's political ambitions.

Barf.

Hello, how are you?

2008-08-31T12:19:00.002-06:00

It's been a while. It's just...we both want different things. You want me to waste my life writing in you, telling you about my day, and I want to experience the world! You were holding me back, but I've missed you. I'll try to visit more often.

It's going to be interesting to see how the Palin VP choice works out for the GOP. I've heard two main theories. The first is that she's a scary smart pick because she's a woman but has all those conservative values (lifetime NRA member, built an oil pipeline her first year as governor in Alaska, pro-life, etc). The second is that she's going to bomb because undecided voters or Clinton supporters won't vote for her simply because she's a woman and she has very little experience and no foreign relations experience--not exactly the person you want stepping in if (when) McCain kicks the bucket. My first reaction was fear but I kind of get this second opinion. I hope things lean more that direction.

I'm keeping residents of New Orleans, St. Bernard Parish, and the other Parishes and regions of the southern US that may be affected by Gustav in my thoughts. It's hard to believe that just three years after Katrina, when New Orleans has finally begun resembling itself again, they may be starting from scratch. If the storm is as bad as predicted the levees will fail again. It could be really bad. This time, at least, they are prepared, and people are taking warnings to leave seriously. Let's hope it's not the worst-case scenario.

I survived my first week of school. We have Surgery every Monday and often have Monday exams as well, meaning I won't be having a lot of weekend fun this semester. I'll get over it. Our first terminal surgery is a week from tomorrow. I'm eager for the surgery but nervous about how I will deal with ending an animal's life. Looking at it logically I tell myself these animals would be killed anyway and this way they are at least serving a purpose, but I won't feel that way when pushing the plunger.

The Pemberley Chronicles

2008-07-14T19:33:00.002-06:00

This book was waiting at my door today in a DHL bag from a bookstore in Illinois. Nobody I've talked to sent it to me. I did not order it for myself. Apparently the Book Gods decided I need to know what happens after Pride & Prejudice. :)

I want a big kitty

2008-07-02T18:27:00.001-06:00

Ok, not really, because they belong in the wild, but this is absolutely amazing. I'm bawling over here.

Father's Day

2008-06-15T11:13:00.002-06:00

It's not something I think about every day, but I am very lucky to have the dad I have. I just read today's PostSecret and was made freshly aware of that fact. He is a dad who made the Easter Bunny and Santa more than real--notes from both, soot tracks from Santa and Rudolph, yarn trails from the EB and then clues to follow as we got older. It was real enough to me that I believed it until I was 9 or 10, long past most kids. In fact, they both still come to visit.

He is a dad who put notes in my lunch box every day in elementary school with clever little drawings and clues for me to figure out with my classmates, something I thought was just about the coolest thing ever. He is a dad who very calmly handled me getting my first period at the middle school where he was the band director and I was a beyond mortified teenager. He is a dad who keeps his emotions in check when he in fact feels a lot. The only time I've ever seen him cry was after my younger sister had back surgery. He is a dad who has had two families and I think has a lot of regrets about how things have turned out with the first one. Luckily my brother, at least, has finally decided it's time to move beyond the past and has come back into Dad's life even though my sister has not.

Dad is so many things, and I don't mean to imply that perfect is one of them because nobody is, but he sets a high bar. He set my sister and I up to be constantly disappointed by men (shh, don't tell Kyle) because everything he does is to improve the lives of the people he loves. The one thing he does for himself is a short fishing trip with old friends every summer. Otherwise he is always working, improving the house, making the yard look beautiful, driving to Lincoln to do things for my grandparents since my grandpa can't and they're too stubborn to move.

I called him to wish him a Happy Father's Day today and I certainly made no big speech. I probably should sometime, maybe next year. But for now, I love you, Dad.

Aww, poor kiwi

2008-06-14T21:12:00.002-06:00

This is adorable...except for the end.

And a repeat, except with Mad World (Donnie Darko version)...there were tears in my eyes. The power of music never ceases to amaze me.

Come hell or high water

2008-05-30T12:37:00.005-06:00

Ames is flooding. This came as a surprise to me today, since the thunderstorms last night didn't seem any more devastating than normal. Here's a pic from our porch:

This is the worst our parking lot has flooded since we've lived here. Luckily my car is on the dry part, but this means I can't (or at least shouldn't try) getting around that corner right now. Good thing I didn't have to work today! So, when I saw that this morning I was kind of surprised. Then I talked to my friend Tara. She sent me pics from her apartment building, which has now lost power and has water on the first floor:

Just a little worse!! She managed to get her car moved to higher ground, and her fiance had to come home from work (in Des Moines) so they could push his motorcycle out of the water. Luckily they have a second floor apartment so they should be okay.

The reason they are flooding so bad is that they are near Squaw Creek, which floods at 9 feet and at the last update was at nearly 16 feet. A nursing home had to be evacuated, and parts of Duff Ave., Stange Rd., and University Blvd. (formerly Elwood Dr.) are closed. Hopefully the water will stop rising soon.

//edit: Now Highway 30 is closed where you get on I-35, so I'm going to have to hope I can take 13th all the way to 35 tomorrow or I may not make it to work.

I need to stop being such a people-pleaser

2008-05-22T08:49:00.002-06:00

I was supposed to work from 1-7 today, but I was woken by a phone call at 9 to ask if I could make it by 11:30. Of course I said yes, just like I said yes to working 11-4 tomorrow when it was supposed to be my day off. This is something I told myself I was not going to do this summer. I need to be more assertive and say no when I don't want to do something. I called Kyle afterwards and bitched about it, and he was like "Next time, just politely say that if they want to change your schedule it would be nice if they would ask the day before rather than a couple of hours because you made plans". I was like....yes, that would be easy wouldn't it. It's a good thing someone in this relationship is level-headed. :P

I finished Stephenie Meyer's The Host last night. It's her first book for adults, since the Twilight series is technically YA. I say technically, because I feel that with both this book and that series there's really no appropriate age of enjoyment. For example, the head tech at my clinic was raving about Twilight the other day, and she's probably in her late 40s.

It took me a few chapters to get into the storyline. I haven't read a lot of sci-fi lately, and this was so different than Twilight. I soon very much believed in Wanderer, the alien soul that was inserted into Mel, the human host, and their struggles since Mel wouldn't give up her body and fade away.

Earth has been taken over by these souls and there are only a few wild humans left. The souls do not believe in violence so they believe that every world they take over is improved, but through the course of the story Wanderer begins to see that this is perhaps not the case.

The book seems to be leading toward an inevitable conclusion, which is suddenly ripped away and this new twist appears that shocks the reader--or at least shocked me. I loved the ending, and I loved Meyer's writing. During Wanderer's biggest personal struggle I was crying for probably 50 pages straight as I waited to see what she would decide to do.

This book is HIGHLY recommended, even to readers who are not fans of science fiction. In the end, it's not a sci-fi book; it's a book about love and the strength of the human spirit that happens to have a sci-fi background.

I'm So Weird

2008-05-21T06:04:00.003-06:00

My stomach is eating itself in nervousness right now. Why? Because I have to go to work. I've noticed that when I have a good day at work I'm, if not excited, at least prepared for the next day. But, when I have a bad day like I did on Monday, the next day I have to go in--today--it feels practically like first day nerves all over again.

Hopefully today will be a good day.

Oooh!!!! squeal

2008-05-17T13:45:00.001-06:00

I'm getting *really* excited about this movie. I wasn't completely thrilled about some of the character choices but I think it will work out well. If they can manage not to butcher the book it will be more than most book-to-movies do.

220 Pounds

2008-05-12T17:56:00.003-06:00

That was the size of the Mastiff I had to try to hold for a blood draw today. He had merely to shake his head like dislodging a fly and I would be thrown off. His head came up to my chest. I have never seen a dog that large in my entire life--it was incredible!

Today went much better than Saturday. I have tomorrow off, but then I'm working Wednesday through Saturday. I hope as I begin to get the computer system down and learn the way things are run there I will enjoy it more. The other workers there are very nice even though the vet can be a bit snippy. I can say with all honesty I've dealt with much worse over the course of a summer.

First day of work!

2008-05-10T05:30:00.002-06:00

I'm excited and nervous. Starting on a Saturday seems like maybe not the best idea since clinics are always swamped, but I guess going right into the fire will show me the worst of it? If it's bad at least it's a short day! The clinic's supposed to close at noon but if it's like other clinics they'll be open later than that because it's Saturday. Hopefully I won't have any horror stories to report from the day.

NaNoWriMo

2008-04-30T08:43:00.002-06:00

I read all the time and for years I've had story ideas percolating in my head. Some of them I've even started to get on (virtual) paper, but I've never finished anything. I'm always too busy, or too picky about editing when I've barely started. No more!

I've joined NaNoWriMo this year, and I'm going to prove to myself that I can finish a story. It's in November, and the point is to write 50,000 words in one month. You're supposed to let the word vomit flow and not worry about bad grammar, plot inconsistencies, or anything else. My only worry is that it takes place at a really bad time of year for me to be able to meet a goal. It may come down to writing a first draft or staying in vet school. That's why I will take part in JulNoWriMo this summer! It's the same concept, but it takes place in July. Since the only thing I'm going to be doing this summer is working at a clinic I should have plenty of time to let the creative juices flow. Even if what I end up writing is complete crap I think the journey will be worth it.

Caturday Night Fever!

2008-04-24T09:01:00.000-06:00

Sausages!!

2008-04-22T15:34:00.001-06:00

It's a sad day for cats in the news

2008-04-22T09:15:00.002-06:00

First, the story of a kitten born with six legs. The family that owns it can't pay for the operation to remove the two spare legs and torso hanging from the belly of this poor thing. Luckily, with the help of some donations, a vet is going to operate and they think the kitten will live. I don't know what vet wouldn't want to help with this case. It's the right thing to do, but from a financial standpoint (which they're trying to teach us to think about here at school) it's free publicity for your clinic.

Second, a story that's much more sad. A three year old boy put the family cat into the microwave and turned it on. Of course they couldn't afford to pay for treatment, so the clinic they took it to will soon be putting him up for adoption. They had to amputate his tail and ears, and he had surface burns and I'm sure internal damage as well. The poor kitty is lucky to have survived. I hope that little boy didn't understand what he was doing, because the alternative is frightening. As with the previous case, this is great publicity for the clinic and frankly, I can't imagine being able to turn the poor thing away. I do wonder about the potential long-term effects (such as cancer) on the kitty.

I'm going to have to snuggle my babies when I get home from class today after reading these.

If hell exists, I've got a ticket

2008-04-17T06:10:00.002-06:00

I just watched the address the pope gave American bishops last night....and nearly fell off the couch laughing. There's something about a pope with a strong German accent that just tickles my funny bone. "Eet ees easy to be entrainced by zee almost unlimited possibilitees zat science und technology press before us." I kept expecting him to break into an angry Hitler speech or at least a "Sieg Heil". See? Hell.

Free Books!

2008-04-14T21:38:00.003-06:00

I've been inspired to give away some of my too-large book collection. The first two are posted over at This Book For Free. It's the least I can do since I've won a couple myself and really, if I'm going to keep buying books I'm going to need to get rid of some and what better way?

I'll be posting a short review of one of the books I won (a mystery) when I get around to finishing it. School makes that take a little longer than I wish was necessary.

Now it's time to get some sleep since I have a presentation tomorrow on hemolytic E. coli in pigs (I know you're all quivering with excitement) and a test on Wednesday.

This pic made my day

2008-04-09T12:43:00.002-06:00

see more crazy cat pics

It's a good thing, too, because I just had a Surgery practical and I was so nervous I did my suture pattern wrong. Something needed to go right today.

Guess-a-Test

2008-04-03T10:09:00.002-06:00

We just had a Virology test where it seemed that most of the answers were a choice of "A and B" or "All of the above" although he swears he doesn't make tricky questions, followed by an "easy" quiz to "boost our confidence" in Path that caused the most dissension of the semester in our group discussion. It's a good day.

Incredible

2008-03-31T09:24:00.000-06:00

This is better than some modern art in galleries!

Monday Morning Drive

2008-03-31T09:01:00.003-06:00

It was a strange drive to school today. The sky was slate gray, with a more stormy gray pressing in from all sides. Rain was pouring down. The highway was a mercuric silver due to some combination of water and light leaking through the clouds. The surrounding fields were a brown-gray, waiting to be plowed and planted. I was one of very few drivers on the road. It felt like I was one of the last people on Earth.

Some break!!

2008-03-20T12:31:00.002-06:00

Saturday and Sunday I was in Decorah for Juj's awesome Junior recital. Monday and Tuesday I was in Illinois for more Kaya tooth work (she finally gets her crown next Thursday, woo!). Yesterday I spent 3 1/2 hours in Des Moines dropping my resume off at clinics, and then worked on my "vaccine brochure" for Public Health in the afternoon. Today I had plans to get more work done, but I finally had to say ENOUGH! I need a break!

I had to turn down a job today. The clinic was only offering 20 hours a week, and they wanted me as a straight receptionist. I had plenty of experience doing that in undergrad. Now that I'm halfway through vet school I need to spend more time with the vets helping with exams and surgeries. Otherwise, what's the point of me even being in a clinic for the summer?

Juj is coming to visit tonight, and she's staying until Sunday morning! This gives me the perfect excuse to completely put off anything remotely school-related. I'm sure when I eventually get around to it I'll bitch and moan about not having done it sooner, but I don't care. It's break!

Juj the opera singer

2008-03-16T20:04:00.002-06:00

When Juj was little she wanted to be an opera singer. Who knew she'd turn out to actually be able to?

Camera operator problems aside, she totally rocked it and I'm very proud. This was the last piece she sang, but you'd never know from her voice!

For your viewing pleasure:

2008-03-13T10:08:00.002-06:00

I would like to share the image that just made me burst out laughing in class. This will teach me not to pay attention (once again) to Clin Path:

Bad news for Friday!

2008-03-13T07:57:00.002-06:00

So in the 5 exams I've had since last Monday, here's how I've done:

83
100
94
85
81

And tomorrow is Pharmacology. In spite of the fact that I've had what are (for me) pretty spectacular grades this semester, I fear tomorrow is going to be my downfall. This instructor taught a section of Histo last year, told us it was going to be "straightforward", and then most of us failed that section. She used the exact same words on Tuesday, telling us tomorrow's test will be "straightforward". I am afraid that is a preview for how tomorrow's test will go. If you'll note the downward progression of scores, I think you'll agree. I have about 9 hours to study today, and then I'll be able to get up around 6 and study for 3 more hours in the morning. I just hope it will be enough. :(

Am I dead yet?

2008-03-11T15:01:00.003-06:00

I think I have a new disease. I will call it Notenoughsleepduetotoomanyexamsinitis. It is a serious manifestation of mental inflammation. Signs to watch for are chronic grumpiness, chronic lack of sleep, decreased sanity, worsening mental capacity resulting in progressively lower test grades, and impotence. Tell your doctor if you experience any of these symptoms.

My Juj!

2008-03-06T22:01:00.003-06:00

I'm getting excited to see my little sister's junior recital here in a week and a half, so I thought I'd post a couple vids of her a capella group Vinyl Roots. These are 3 months old and pretty poor quality, and they've got more experience now (these are from not that long after the group was formed) but there are no new vids. They need to get on that. ;)

Juj is on the left here.

She's also on the left here.

Left here as well!

Must be fun to go to a school with such talented kids. It makes me a tiny bit jealous I went the Vet Med route rather than trombone performance. :)

Can you tell I have my Anesthesiology final tomorrow? Because yeah, I do. :P

I'd have a 50% chance of surviving on the moon.

2008-03-06T11:43:00.002-06:00

52%

I stole this from Midas, but I'm sure she won't mind. I would possibly be able to survive, but with my luck it wouldn't happen. :P

In other news, I somehow kicked serious ass on the Virology test and got a perfect score (with the help of a couple bonus points). I think I can die happy now.

I poked a dog in the eye!

2008-03-05T15:18:00.002-06:00

We just had our ophthalmic exam lab, and it was really cool! The eye seems like this mysterious organ to me, and today, as the instructor for the day put it, "it's just an orifice slightly more complicated than the anus". We did a tear production test, a fluoroscein stain (it looks for corneal lesions), and flushed the lacrimal duct (which weirded me out at first, because while I logically know the eye is anesthetized by drops, it is gross that I'm poking around in there. The best part was that I was shown by a fourth year how to inject drugs into the conjunctiva. I think that squees me because I can't imagine someone doing it to me, but I got a little fluid pocket in there, and it was cool.

Our rat terrier was a little squirmy, and...really gross (bad skin, horrific mouth) but I felt bad for her just the same. All the dogs today were terminal surgery dogs. Most of them you could tell were taken from puppy mills, so at least here they serve an educational purpose before they are euthanized, but I am once again wondering how I will handle terminal surgery myself next year. I want to do it because it will give me a chance to do surgeries I otherwise couldn't do until I'm actually in practice, and I've expected that it will be extremely difficult. What I'm not sure of is whether it will actually have long-term effects on my psyche.

2008-03-04T05:25:00.002-06:00

I wrote a respectful objection to the instructor the the Behavior class in question. (Yes, in spite of the irreverence of my posts I can be respectful. :P) I'll wait and see if anything comes of it.

Grade-a-friend!

2008-03-03T12:22:00.003-06:00

To continue the discussion of poor class structure this year, I present Item B:

We had an assignment due today in Animal Behavior. It is worth 50 points out of a total 100 points in the class. It was a behavior case work-up, fairly straight-forward. The instructor told us to exchange with our neighbor, and our grade will be determined by their critique and assignment of points. It makes perfect sense, because we are all behavior experts having taken a half semester of a course on it. Even better, we have to write up a summary of our critique, and the person whose grade we determined gets to grade our critique.

At this point I turned to Kimberly and said, "And then I get to critique your critique of my critique."

Utter insanity.

I think Christianity has been wrong all these years

2008-03-03T11:24:00.002-06:00

Hell is a frozen wasteland.

I don't know if we've had a record number of winter storms this year, but every time we are tempted by the emergence of clear ground our hopes are walloped by another dumping of snow and ice. The most recent one was the worst: we actually had two days that were in the 40s, and it was beautiful, before the afternoon darkened and chilled and the rain came, followed by the ice and then the snow.

A couple storms ago we had a record number of cars in the ditch between Ames and Des Moines.

This morning on my way to class I thought to myself, "Ok people, I know the road is iced over, but we can probably go a little faster than twenty miles an hour." No sooner had it entered my mind than a woman driving a minivan spun off the highway going the other direction. So, I stuck with that 20 mph and was glad it wasn't me.

Spring needs to arrive soon!

I am fully aware that once the temperature gets past the lower 80s I will be whining about wanting winter back. It's not my fault my school is in a climate with vast extremes! I want to find a place to live where summer doesn't get above the 80s and the humidity is lower. I wonder where that might be.

In Honor of my new Profile Pic

2008-02-29T19:58:00.004-06:00

Isn't this a hilarious shot of Sebastian? I think the angle makes him look like a freakishly huge cat...like real tiger-size. That was a fun study break, but now it's back to Virology on a Friday night.

In-Class Post

2008-02-29T10:41:00.003-06:00

There's nothing like using my thousands of tuition dollars a year to play online in class rather than pay attention... In my defense, I would learn nothing by paying attention. It seems that they design vet school so that the fall semester is full of interesting classes that make you glad you're here, and the spring classes make you desperate to escape.

I added a live traffic feed to my blog last night and have discovered something very interesting! I honestly thought that two or three people read my blog because that's who comments. Apparently that is not the case. Hello Austin, Oakland, Menomonie, and Springfield!

I am starting to fret a bit about finding a summer job. I am waiting to find out about a position with Banfield (a corporate clinic) but chances are I won't be able to work in either Ankeny/Des Moines or Omaha (and live with my parents again) because you get to pick based on when you turned in your application, and not every clinic takes summer students. Along with about a gazillion other things on my plate for Spring Break is now the need to call clinics in Ankeny and Des Moines to find out if anybody wants to hire a second year vet student and pay me enough to survive for the summer. I haven't worked in a clinic since the summer of 2005, so I really need to use this summer to relearn and hone some of those basic skills before I start my fourth year rotations next summer (yikes!).

To get back to this class I'm sitting in right now (which should be done...but she's still talking), the instructor is--to put it kindly--a bit absent-minded. Case in point, we had an in-class quiz yesterday that she gave us too near the end of the hour to finish, and she allowed people to take it home! Granted, it was open-note, but how can she not be aware that there are students in our class with a slightly off-kilter moral compass who have no problem working together and making sure they have all the right answers? We always hear about how we need to follow the "honor code", but the number of people in our class that are willing to cheat is appalling. I certainly don't think we're worse than the average population of humans, but anybody who thinks we have the moral high ground doesn't realize the cliff is crumbling.

2008-02-28T23:49:00.002-06:00

I think that at some point I need to learn how to break out of the blog template world and freebase it. It won't be anytime soon, but one of these days...

Not really new, but hey, I'm a little slow

2008-02-28T23:01:00.002-06:00

Ok, I just watched these videos in succession and cannot stop laughing. These would be considered NSFW by a lot of people, so be warned. First, here's the video Sarah Silverman made for Jimmy Kimmel (whose show I do not actually watch, although these videos make me think perhaps I should):

In retaliation, Kimmel presented the following video. In sheer star power he wins by a landslide.

Seriously, people. Must you make me laugh this hard after eating Taco Bell late at night?

Neil Gaiman rocks my socks off

2008-02-28T22:35:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman, is an amazingly cool guy. I fully believe there are some authors I read who are not very pleasant people in life. Mr. Gaiman is not one of them. He held a vote and posted the book that was most voted for online free here for a month! To make things even better it is my absolute favorite book by him. In fact, if my dad hadn't "borrowed" it about a year ago--okay, I pushed it off on him to read because I love it and he liked Good Omens when I pushed that off on him before that--I would be reading it again right now (very slowly, as I have six exams in the next two weeks). Luckily, I don't have to wait to do that because I can read it on my computer in the next 30 days!

If you're always looking for a new blog to read like I am I strongly recommend the blog of the esteemed Mr. Gaiman. He posts a lot of interesting news and links, and is just an all-around fun guy to keep up with on a daily basis. :)

Spread the word!

2008-02-28T07:58:00.003-06:00

This Book For Free is a new blog that is a win-win for everyone. The author posts books that she will ship to people for free, and all you have to do is put your name in for the books you want (and will hopefully win) and spread the word! It's a way to get new reading material and meet people from all over the world. Right now she's only posted romance novels but she said other genres are on the way. So, check it out and tell your friends!

Implicit Association Test

2008-02-25T10:53:00.002-06:00

This is a pretty cool test about how you really feel about the presidential candidates. You can find it here.

My results didn't completely match what I expected. I had the most positive association with Clinton, which I expected. What I didn't expect was that I would have a higher positive association with Huckabee than Obama, and that McCain would be the lowest! I figured that McCain would at least be higher than Huckabee, but my mind apparently says otherwise.

Damnit

2008-02-15T15:19:00.002-06:00

It turns out there was an opening into the pulp chamber. I already got Kaya scheduled for her root canal in Illinois the Tuesday of Spring Break. I know this would seem ridiculous to most people, but I'm taking an online Continuing Education course from Dr. Manfra (she's at the U of Illinois) so it will be fantastic to meet her and see her work, and I'm spending so much on school already what's another couple thousand in loans. Plus, Kaya will be able to show off her grillz rather than a giant hole. The biggest problem is that it takes not two, as I originally thought, but three visits. The first during Spring Break will be the root canal. Three months later they do the impression, and then any time after a week after that the crown can go on. Those next two visits will be during the summer, at least.

I'm kind of scared to tell my family. In fact, I may not. They would see this as beyond ridiculous and a waste of money. They aren't what I would call role model pet owners. They feed them and take decent care of them, but if a medical or surgical problem like this would come up they would take the cheapest route (in this case, tooth removal) because it's just a pet. But Kaya is pretty much my baby, so I'm willing to spend the money. I was just hoping I wouldn't have to.

Today's the big day

2008-02-14T07:10:00.003-06:00

Not Valentine's Day, though it is also that. Kaya is going in to get her teeth looked at to see what our options are. I'm kind of nervous, even though this is not a risky procedure in any way. She's my baby, so I guess it's parental nerves. *g*

Of course, since she has surgery today she had to go and eat a chunk of Nylabone last night and make me worried about a GI obstruction. She's still acting normal this morning, so hopefully it was small enough to pass without a problem.

I also have a Surgery test this morning that I did not study well for. We'll see how that goes...

Edit: I am tentatively keeping my fingers crossed that things aren't as bad as they seemed. Dr. Nieves was able to pop off the slab, and she said it doesn't *look* like the fracture got into the pulp chamber. We're bringing her back in tomorrow where they're going to clean it up and do radiographs to check things out, and if it's not in the pulp chamber Dr. Nieves can just restore it (basically a filling). It's not likely to last her entire life like a crown would, but if it starts to flake off we just have to be extra-good about brushing her teeth. I will definitely take that over a crown!

Clinton and feminism

2008-02-07T11:22:00.000-06:00

Extremely bored. Two hours of Clin Path on Thursday is waaaaaaaaay too much. I thought I would better use my time blogging.

So, this really fun blog I read, called The Book Bitches, posted about how some people accuse Hillary Clinton of setting back feminism because she stayed with Bill, and then mentioned an interesting idea (from someone else) that the slowing of the feminism movement was actually the result of women tearing down the same women they fought with for the right to improve their lives.

I completely agree with the theory. Women are the worst critics of other women. We are jealous of how other women look, what they do, what they wear; why would level of success be any different? The responses to the post had typical "I'm not a feminist, so..." and "I'm a feminist, so..." posts, and it just irked me. What is a feminist? People are so afraid of the word because they don't want to be thought of as a bra-burning ball-busting bitch. That is not what feminism is. I posted a response saying so. It will be interesting to see how/if the "I'm not a feminist" crowd responds.

525, 600 Minutes

2008-02-05T07:23:00.000-06:00

A year ago today I made the second major decision of my life. I think I will always question whether it was the right decision. If we had held out a little longer, maybe we would have found out she didn't really have FIP but was only positive for coronavirus and had something treatable. If I had known then to pay extra to bring her to the teaching hospital for a second opinion, what might have happened? Those "ifs" will get you, especially when it's too late to do anything about it.

Here's to you, Sabriel. You were a cat without comparison, and we will be lucky if we ever have another kitty with your sweet temperament.

And now, for your viewing pleasure

2008-02-03T22:25:00.000-06:00

I've been enjoying a new online comic. I should have been studying for Wednesday's Virology test, but instead I watched the game, am now watching House while laughing at these, and will go to bed afterwards. Here are a few of the better comics (if you click on them they open full-size):

And now, my all-time favorite:

I could have died laughing at this last one. Oh, man...

And the winner is...

2008-02-03T17:56:00.000-06:00

I feel like the world's worst dog owner. Between our small animal dentistry lecture in Surgery and the Hill's lunch lecture on dental health, I have been scared into taking better care of my animals' teeth. So, Saturday has become tooth-brushing day. I learned at the Hill's lunch that brushing once a week is pretty much worthless because plaque builds up in like hours, but it's got to be better than nothing. I can't brush their teeth every day.

Anyway, we just started last week. Yesterday was day 2. I took a closer look at Kaya's teeth yesterday, and saw something that looked like a little calculus build-up. Lo and behold, I was wrong, and she has an upper fourth premolar fracture, exactly why we've been warned against letting our pets chew on Nylabones. Our Surgery teacher said they were fine for heavy chewers, which Kaya tends to be, but the Hill's guy said you shouldn't let your dog chew on anything you can't bend over your knee. Looks like he was right. I have no idea how long it's been there.

I first cried, because this is what I do. I know it's nothing life-threatening, but I feel so guilty for not noticing it for however long it's been there. I also feel bad for letting her chew on Nylabones, although I didn't even know until recently that she shouldn't be doing that. Guilt is not a reasonable emotion, however.

Once I got over that, I emailed our Surgery instructor to find out what my options are. I pretty much need to bring her into school no matter what, because even if we go with a "simple" tooth extraction, the upper fourth premolar has three roots, and it's not an easy extraction. I would feel better having it done at the school. We do have some alternatives to discuss, which is another reason to take her to the school.

It all depends on how bad the damage is. If the fractured slab is external (not in the pulp of the tooth) they can just remove it and clean it up. If it is into the root they can do a root canal (which is really three root canals) and then put a crown on it. The root canal alone would be about $900. I don't really care about the money. I can take out a little more loan money for the semester to cover what I decide to do. I just want to do what's best for her.

I need to talk to someone about recovery from extraction vs. getting a crown. I know getting a crown requires being put under anesthesia twice--once for the root canal and impression, and once for the crown. I want to know how long a crown can be expected to last (i.e., will we be replacing it in three years). Lots of questions.

I know that at this point the fracture is no longer painful because the slab is dead, but I can't believe we wouldn't have noticed the initial pain. Which makes me wonder if it's even remotely possible this has been in existence for the almost-year we've had her. Which then leads me to wonder how we never noticed it and neither did the vet during her physicals if that is the case. *sigh* I know I need to stop beating myself up over this, because all I can do is give her the best treatment possible, but it's hard. I hold myself to a higher standard than the average pet owner, even though a lot of this stuff we are just learning for the first time.

I suppose in a way I should be glad, because if we hadn't just learned this at school, I might not have started brushing her teeth and might not have even found it until it abscessed out her nose or something awful and gross like that.

Poor Kaya.

Best use of a helicopter ever.

2008-02-01T06:47:00.000-06:00

Poor little guy. At least it worked out all right.

Do you want to eat tortured cow?

2008-01-31T09:58:00.000-06:00

The Humane Society released a video they shot last fall with an undercover worker showing workers mistreating downed cows. It's got some lawmakers in an uproar because of the potential of introducing disease into human food sources by slaughtering downed cows that you torture into standing (current law prohibits slaughter of cows that cannot stand on their own). I can maybe see the concern there.

My problem is the actual actions taking place. My little stint with vegetarianism didn't last more than a few months, but I still have a problem with aspects of the food animal industry. If we are going to raise animals as a food source, we have an obligation to make their lives as comfortable as possible. We are also obligated to make their death quick, as painless as possible, and not to freaking torture them! Jabbing them with prods and a forklift is torture. Better to captive bolt them on the spot and put them out of their misery.

It really is as simple as that. I don't know how a person could possibly argue otherwise.

I am "unchristian" and "unmoral"...

2008-01-27T18:56:00.000-06:00

The following questionnaire was apparently a "science" project that a 6th grade student turned in. The teacher was very religious and accepted it. This in itself is very scary. I thought I would go ahead and answer his questions to see how moral I am.

Question: Do unchristians make less moral choices than Christians?

Hypothesis: The Bible is the perfect guide to life that shows us how to be moral people. Without believing in the Bible you can’t know God and he can’t guide you and give you rewards for being a good person. I think people who aren’t Christian will be less successful.

Experiment: I will interview thirty people and ask them if they are Christian. I will give them the same questions so I have a control sample. I think they are immoral if they score lower than 15.
Questions I will ask. There are 20 points available.

Have you ever spoke the name of our Lord in vain? - I use Jesus Fucking Christ pretty regularly, so yeah.
Have you ever killed another human being? - No, but there are plenty of scenarios I can imagine where I would be willing to.
Have you every lied? - More than I would admit to.
Have you ever had [sexual] relations before marriage? - Anybody who gets married without knowing they're going to have decent sex is asking for trouble.
Do you go to church every Sunday or once a week? - I have better things to do...like sleep.
Do you wish you had more stuff? - I have lots of "stuff" that I want. Money is the only issue.
Do you gossip? - I'm in vet school, which is like high school v2.0. It's all we do.
Do you give to charity? - A little, and only to organizations Christians like this kid think will burn in hell.
Do you listen to rap or heavy metal music? - I've been known to.
Have you ever had an abortion or been pro-choice? - Yes to both.
Have you ever read Harry Potter or Spiderwick Chronicles or the Golden Compass? - This has to be the best question in this "scientific" survey. Holy shit. This kid's parents are blinding him to a whole world of fiction. Yes, no, and yes.
Do you see movies with unwholesome content? - I don't watch straight-up porn, but yeah.
Do you pray every day? - I honestly can't remember the last time I prayed and meant it.
Do you believe that God is the creator of heaven and earth? - I believe it was an accidental collision of the right elements.
Are you overweight because you eat too much? - Yes, and it's because I don't believe in god.
Do you take pride in accomplishments other than service to God? - Nothing I do is in service to god, so anything I take pride in is inherently not in service to god.
Do you put God and Jesus first? -First for what? In line for picture day?
Do you view pornography? - No, but some of what I read could probably be considered porn. It's fun. You should try it sometime.
Do you practice temperance in every thing you do? - No. I in fact often act before I consider the consequences.
Are you quick to anger? - Yes, and what gets me fired up the most is belief in something intangible to the point that it shapes how you treat those who are different or don't share your beliefs.

Religion can be used to teach children to treat others with kindness, to accept people as they are. It can also be used to teach abominable prejudice, and that it is okay to ostracize those who do not follow your religious code. I'm cool with the former and absolutely not cool with the latter. Unfortunately, the latter are by far the more vocal majority. This poor kid is going to grow up and teach the same intolerance to his kids unless he learns to think for himself.

Blog for Choice 2008 - Why I vote Pro-Choice

2008-01-23T12:10:00.000-06:00

Crap, I've been too busy with school again. I missed this year's Blog for Choice topic by a day, but I'm doing it anyway.

Why do I vote pro-choice?

-The only reasons to vote against it that I can see are religious or misogynistic in nature, and neither of those belongs in government (although they inarguably are).

-Sometimes women are put in a situation that, no matter how careful they are, they did not plan on. To force a woman to carry an unwanted child to term is a massive violation of individual rights.

-There are already enough unwanted children in the world.

-I myself have made the choice to have an abortion. I was 19, and I am still with the...well, sperm donor, and I was on birth control. It was not the right time in my life for that kind of responsibility (and yes, I've heard the argument that you choose to be responsible when you have sex, but let's face it...lots of people have sex who have no business being parents).

-To limit abortion rights would only create an environment for very unsafe abortions. With the current trend in sex education young women need the right to choose now more than ever. Perhaps if they were being taught safe sex procedures rather than abstinence we could limit the number of abortions needed.

I'm sure I could think of more, but I should really be using my lunch break to do something productive and school-related.

Danny Boy and Manuel

2008-01-20T20:55:00.000-06:00

Kyle and I just got back from Des Moines where we watched an afternoon concert with Juj's Nordic choir and then ate dinner with Mom and Dad. It was such a fabulous concert I don't even know where to begin. I was enthralled from the first burgeoning chord that seemed to float upon the air. It was the first time I've been in a church since...Anna's wedding, so that was weird. I didn't burst into flames, though, so if there is a god he or she isn't as vengeful as some evangelicals would like to believe. The church had beautiful acoustics.

Juj had the solo in Copland's "In the Beginning", which chronicled the seven days of creation. First of all, I had no idea Copland had even done choral music, and secondly, it was awesome! All of his instrumental stuff has the same folksy sound, and this was great. Each day of creation had a different feel, and it was little details like when they were singing about the formation of the seas and the movement of the music felt like waves that really clinched my awe of the piece. Juj was nervous for the solo, and I knew why afterwards - it was insanely hard. She of course did an amazing job with note jumps that came out of nowhere and sounded wonderful. I didn't cry like I usually do, though, because the song was pretty upbeat and I was so nervous for her to get through it!

What did make me cry, though (and I mean tears streaming down the face) was when the choir sang Danny Boy. I never knew the lyrics before today, and it was absolutely haunting:

Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountainside.
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying.
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow,
For I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow.
Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so.

But if you come, and all the flower's are dying
And if I'm dead, as dead I might well be.
Ye'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an “Ave” there for me.
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me,
And o'er my grave shall warmer, sweeter be,
And if you bend and tell me that you love me,
Then I shall sleep in peace until you come to me.

I'm such a pathetic softie. I just keep telling myself it's what will make me a good vet.

For dinner we ate at Macaroni Grill and had Manuel, a beautiful Puerto Rican waiter. He was pretty fun, and I wasn't paying attention when he put cheese on my meal because I was talking to dad, so he just kept piling the cheese on until dad finally said I might want to say stop, and he and Kyle talked fried plantains.

I also got a surprise late Christmas present--a GPS navigator!! It is the coolest toy ever, and super-easy to use. I will never be lost again!

Kyle and I also stopped at the double decker Barnes & Noble before heading home.

All in all, it was a totally sweet day, and it is sweeter since I don't have class tomorrow. Ciao!

Words of the day 1/18

2008-01-18T09:18:00.000-06:00

I don't know where my dictionary.com word is, but...

MW: He resorted to a bunch of weasel words to get around the issue.

Words of the Day 1/17

2008-01-17T06:50:00.001-06:00

I never remember the words I don't know, so maybe if I use them in a sentence here it will be easier. :)

MW: His words were perfectly crafted to scarify, making her gasp in pain.
Dictionary.com: Kate severely upbraided the young boy she caught attempting to pocket an item in her store.

In other news, we got just enough snow to be a huge pain getting to class but not enough to cancel. *sigh*

Taking over the world

2008-01-16T08:25:00.001-06:00

The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN, appropriately enough) will be taking over the Discovery Health channel, which currently has 70 million subscribers. What a bunch of crap. I love that channel, and now it's going to be that egomaniac 24 hours a day. I'm sure Gayle will run it at least part of the time, though...

Soy cansado

2008-01-14T19:21:00.000-06:00

Today was our first day back, and it's a good thing we weren't bombarded with studying to do already because I can barely keep my eyes open. Allowing myself to go nocturnal over break (like staying up until 5 every night) was a poor choice. I can't even bring myself to read for fun, let alone crack open a textbook. I've pretty much just been sitting here since I got home, and it is probably all I will do until I go to bed. At least tonight I'll be able to get back on a normal sleep schedule!

Kyle Perkins is a vampire

2008-01-11T03:24:00.000-06:00

Seriously. I'm reading the seventh book in Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse series (All Together Dead), and a vampire named Kyle Perkins attempted (successfully) to assassinate a key witness in a trial against the Louisiana Queen. Needless to say he was exterminated. How weird is that, though? I had to go wake Kyle up even though he has work tomorrow to show him he's an evil bloodsucker, haha.

P.S. The highlighter is strictly computer-based...I would never so desecrate a book! The horror! :P

Tears make you more real

2008-01-07T23:50:00.000-06:00

I just watched Hillary Clinton's choked up moment on CNN. It made me like her more, because it's one of the few times she hasn't been yelling into a mike. It made her seem human. I'm sure some pundits will use it as ammunition against women in politics, though, because we are TOO EMOTIONAL.

It didn't make me like her enough to want her for the Dem nomination, though. I really like Richardson, but going for people who actually have a shot I'd have to choose Obama right now. Clinton would be my second choice. I just really want to believe that someone can be in the White House and make a positive difference.

Sunday, Games, & Bad Breath

2008-01-06T20:24:00.000-06:00

Woke up at noon to find myself alone in bed. Kyle passed out at 6 on the couch after playing games all night. He moved into the bed and got up at 4. All in all, a typical Sunday.

Even though I haven't finished NWN2, I've started The Witcher, which is a great game. The only problem is it crashes at very inopportune moments, such as immediately after beating a difficult boss before I've had a chance to save, leading me to quit in disgust. I doubt I'll finish it before school starts.

I'm calling the vet tomorrow to talk about Loki's nasty breath. When he was teething I was willing to let it go as possibly normal, but he's done now and he has gingivitis, which isn't normal for his age. I'm not really sure what they can do--maybe swab his mouth?--but it would be nice if something could be done. It doesn't seem to bother him but it can't be healthy.

I really have nothing else to say since it's still break and I've been vegging and ignoring real life as much as possible. I will mention that I'm glad the caucus is over so I'll stop getting 5 calls a day from the Dems...until the fall, that is.

This is only a test

2007-12-29T00:00:00.001-06:00

One of the random presents I got for Christmas this year (yes, I celebrate Christmas even though I'm an atheist...I can do whatever I damn well want) was a journal that had been given to my grandmother that she gave to me. She included a little note that said something along the lines of "I received this as a gift and never used it, and hope you will get better use. You should write at least a sentence a day, because when you're my age you won't remember what happened in your life." It's kind of sad to think I won't remember my own life, but I know it's true because it's already hard enough to remember my childhood! Maybe I'll be better on paper than I am in the blogosphere.

I need to trim my nails...typing is driving me nuts!

Procrastination Station

2007-09-26T21:09:00.000-06:00

So...I should be studying for a Case Studies quiz, but EH. I survived our first round of exams with flying colors (85% in Path, 93% in Micro, and 94% in Parasit, wonder of wonders!!!) so I'm taking a mental vacation. There is no way I'm going to manage to keep grades like that up, but it was a fantastic start to the semester. :)

I do need to get back into the routine, though...starting tomorrow. I'll study Friday afternoon, too, because that evening is Cash Bash sponsored by Intervet. Pretty much, we get to show up for free and significant others are $5, and we get free food and drinks all night with money given away throughout. It will be totally sweet (especially if I win some money!).

J's big audition is this coming Tuesday and I feel bad that I can't skip out on school to be there for support, but I just can't do it. I'd miss a Parasit quiz and a speaker about small animal ethics, which I *really* want to hear. I'll be there in spirit though. If nothing else hopefully we can at least grab some dinner on her way back to Decorah.

That's all for now; my life is really that boring.

Powerpoint Power Trip

2007-09-19T09:23:00.000-06:00

We have a new lecturer for Path. A while ago on Facebook I posted a video of a guy talking about all the things you shouldn't do in Powerpoint lectures. This guy is pretty much doing all of them. Tons of info on the slides, rushing through things (to the point of skipping entire slides), assuming we know things we haven't learned yet. He also doesn't answer questions, saying things like "We'll get to that later" rather than explain something. K emailed him after class Monday asking him to slow down and answer questions, and at the beginning of lecture today he said he would do these things and then proceeded to lecture the exact same way. Plus, I just cannot stand the organization of the lectures. Our two previous teachers would start a section with basic information, move onto pathologic lesions you see, and then end with specific disease processes be species. In other words, they were ordered in a common sense manner. This guy jumped right into specific diseases and hasn't looked back.

So, I've been sitting here playing Scrabble and browsing. I don't think I'll be going anymore...maybe I can read the book when I'm supposed to be in lecture. I think I'd get more out of that.

Viva la revolucion!

Suddenly I See

2007-09-14T12:32:00.000-06:00

You know, I've never understood the obsession with Matthew Mcconaughey, but, well...damn. Dude's got a body.

On that lust-filled note, it's time to spend the afternoon trying to understand Path.

Staying awake to chase a dream

2007-09-13T12:28:00.000-06:00

Here is my song of the day. It's from one of Muse's older albums. Sorry if you don't have iTunes or a converter; you probably won't be able to listen.

I've got a wonderful afternoon free to study (and will have tomorrow as well) so of course I've got to screw around and waste time for a while!

Here's a pic of Loki (Mr. Loki Pants...don't ask) playing in my backpack:

He's getting so big! It will be interesting to see who's dominant when he's all grown up, because right now Sebastian is definitely head honcho but it may only be because of his larger size.

I looked up the word "abattoir" this morning. Only Americans can take something that should be a pretty sounding "aba-twa" (close enough, and rather ironically pretty since it means slaughterhouse) and turn it into "aba-twar". I hate how Americans pronounce things. Here's another fun French phrase for you: joie de vivre. Such a beautiful language. I really like that you can listen to pronunciations at Merriam-Webster.

The VM1s had their first Anatomy exam today. They were all freaking out, much as I recall freaking out a year ago. I didn't have the heart to tell them they will look back on first semester Anatomy with fondness. They will discover this in due time.

I suppose I've killed enough time. I need to learn the Rhabditids for Parasit. *sigh*

What I've Learned

2007-09-10T10:07:00.000-06:00

I just sat through a lecture explaining how to handle these:

Pretty much if it's an adult high on the limb they're going to die. This just reinforces my opinion that horses are a giant pain in the ass. I would much rather have spent my time thinking about this:

Haha, just kidding KP. (Although really, you know I'm not...)

I've also discovered that our Path teacher:

COMPLETELY reminds me of Beverley Leslie from Will & Grace (aside from the fact that he's married and presumably not gay):
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=W6FKAw7Xdow (Sorry, too dumb to figure out how to embed...)

And this is the sum total of my morning. I have been doing a really horrible job with keeping up with studying. Our first exams are next week: Path Monday and Parasit Tuesday, and I'm now starting to freak out. I'd say it's probably time to get caught up on Path reading...

I don't know why I'm having so much trouble getting kick-started this semester. I can't even count the number of nights I've done nothing for school...bad student, very bad. I'd just rather watch TV or read for fun than do all the school stuff. I'm beginning to think part of it may be an overwhelming fear because I know this semester is the most difficult one and I already had enough trouble last time. Putting things off isn't going to help, though! Tonight, I shall read a chapter of Path.

On a final side note, I adore the smell of fall. I took Kaya for a walk yesterday evening, and I caught the first hints of autumn in the air. It brought to mind fallen leaves and pumpkin patches. I know a lot of people experience depression with the changing seasons, but fall is always very uplifting for me.

Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda

2007-08-24T19:33:00.000-06:00

My family just stopped through on their way to help J move back into school. I don't know why, but I still feel the need to perform and gain approval from my parents. It's not as if they care either way, it's a personal problem of mine. It's very draining. They met our new kitty, and Mom wasn't pleased because we're breaking our lease with too many animals. I said I couldn't let him get killed at the shelter and had to save him and she said I'm hopeless. It's true. J thought he was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. They also brought a book back that I forgot at home. It was kind of embarrassing because lately I've been into a lot of paranormal books, so I got crap about that. I'm sorry I like reading about vampires...since I'm not in band anymore and can't exactly play trombone in my apartment I need something that is a huge mental break from science. Paranormal books provide that. I think I need to work on developing a more confident sense of self. It would clear up a lot of my issues.

Ho Hum

2007-07-12T14:12:00.000-06:00

I won't give anything away, but I would like to say the latest HP installment was a bit lackluster. I suppose that's what happens when you try to cram over 800 pages into 2 hours. 87777777777777777777777...sorry, that was Sebastian saying hello. Anyway, the result of all this is a movie that leaves holes readers can fill in while leaving people like KP in the dark. It definitely didn't come across as a seamless storyline. Umbridge is sufficiently putrid, though, I'll give them that.

I'm expecting much better from the final book, and I don't think I will be disappointed.

Sebastian is home!!!

2007-07-03T16:33:00.000-06:00

I haven't been this happy for a long time. When I picked him up, it was actually my kitty that I was taking home! Before, he was so lethargic it was like a different cat, but his personality is back! I let him out of the carrier in the car on the way home and he spent most of the trip in my lap meowing happily at me.

When I got home, and Moggie saw him, she followed him around like she couldn't believe he was back. She definitely missed him.

He's been cleaning himself excessively--I think to get the hospital stink off of his fur.

I won't totally relax until we finish his meds in a couple of weeks and he's totally back to normal, but I'm feeling so much better now that he is.

Hospital Kitty

2007-07-01T10:09:00.001-06:00

We took Sebastian back to the teaching hospital when I got back from Boone today. They have to keep him for a couple of days to give him fluids and see if he can start feeling better. They think this severe gastritis is due to the peroxide I was told to give him to get him to vomit and actually has nothing to do with the dime.

Let's just say I'm feeling really guilty and pissed at the clinic right about now. :(

Poor Kitty

2007-06-30T19:34:00.000-06:00

Poor Sebastian. :( The throwing up does at least seem to have stopped, but he's just not eating. He's lethargic and depressed, too. He needs to start eating by tomorrow or we're going to have to do something about it.

I've decided there's no way Moggie swallowed the q-tip because we would have seen signs by now. Now my fear is that somehow they missed the q-tip during endoscopy and it's in there causing more damage. It's unlikely, but I apparently need something to worry about. If he would just start eating I'd feel a lot better.

Cat Update 08

2007-06-29T16:39:00.000-06:00

So...they only found the dime, and no q-tip. We have meds to give Sebastian for 2 weeks to help his mucosa heal.

Now I'm hoping Moggie didn't somehow get ahold of it...

Mamas, don't let your kittens grow up to be q-tip eaters...

2007-06-29T13:37:00.000-06:00

So with my summer job I'm always sweating to death by the time I get home early in the afternoon. I always let the cats out, shower, and then do data entry in the afternoon. Today, I dropped a q-tip after my shower and Sebastian pounced on it and started playing. I thought, "Well, I'll finish up in here and take it away from him." Not 30 seconds later I turned around and the q-tip was gone.

I searched every square inch of our floor and it was nowhere. So, I called our vet and they said try to make him throw it up with hydrogen peroxide. I thought it was highly unlikely that would work, given it would have to be perfectly angled into the esophagus to exit the stomach, but I tried 3 times and all he threw up was his breakfast. Bad. Called the clinic back again, and they said he needed radiographs, but they were too busy for him to get in today. Excuse me, but this is an emergency and you guys are too busy to squeeze him in?!

So I called our teaching hospital and took him him. They planned to do radiographs first, but plastic doesn't show up, so unless air was still in the tube they'd have to do endoscopy to find it if it was there and remove it. The estimate was about $600.

They called 15 minutes ago to tell me they couldn't find the q-tip...but they did find a dime! Luckily, it was sitting near the pylorus still in his stomach, so they think they can do endoscopy to remove both the dime and the q-tip (if it's in there), for probably the same price, and we can probably take him home today.

Apparently we need to be much more careful about what we leave lying around...who knows how much shit he's eaten and passed without us even knowing?

I'm just glad he's going to be ok...and now do to my data entry so I don't fall behind...

Die, Research, Die!

2007-06-22T15:29:00.000-06:00

I hate my summer job. It is f***ing terrible. It's not anywhere near worth the chunk of money I'm getting to do it. I cannot wait to fill out evaluations at the end of the summer. This has made me hate research to the point that I want to ban all research. It might have actually been better if I was plopped in a lab somewhere than what I'm doing. Maybe I wouldn't want to stab my coordinator if that were the case.

Keep your dog on a leash!

2007-06-08T11:02:00.000-06:00

I swear, the people in this neighborhood are the crappiest dog owners. The neighbors in the duplex across the parking lot have a huge (like, monstrously huge) 9 month old male pit bull named Max that really needs to be neutered (only for energy, not attitude). He's like a 90 pound exuberant teddy bear. It's hilarious to watch Kaya play with him because he's unintentionally rough when he swats her and she freaks and jumps like a spider! But anyway, they leave him out on a long lead for a large portion of the day. I go play with him because I feel so bad that he's out there by himself all the time.

The other stupid people live in our building and coincidentally are friends with the pit's owners, and they have this blue merle husky mix (that I used to think was freaky because of his husky eyes) who also is really nice and gets along with Kaya. Not only do they often leave him out on their patio on the first floor on a leash, they often just let him out and he hangs around the area. This morning when I got home from work he was taking a nap in the middle of the parking lot! He's going to end up getting hurt or killed if they keep letting him out like that. It's so irresponsible it makes me grind my teeth.

In other news, on the Today show this morning they unveiled the new "deluxe" Harry Potter book cover. Um, wtf?! What about those of us who pre-ordered months ago? I'm not going to buy the new one too! Bastards...

Hmm...movies I'm excited about. I like Knocked Up, didn't like Pirates, Shrek was ok. New movies coming out that I want to see are Transformers, Stardust (read the book by Neil Gaiman first!!), Eagle Vs. Shark, Evan Almighty (that might be a disappointment), Ratatouille, License to Wed (probably not that great, but I like Robin Williams), that's all I can think of right now.

Kyle and I have decided to pick up languages as a hobby. I chose to start with Spanish because it's my background (in hopes that it's an easier beginning) and Kyle picked German. We ordered the materials from an academic discount place (that Rosetta Stone stuff advertised on TV is like $400!!) for $70. The best part is whenever we feel like it we can switch! I'm excited for it to get here.

Oh what fun it is to write on a gorgeous summer's day

2007-06-05T10:00:00.000-06:00

I get to spend the afternoon writing a mini-paper on FIP and reviewing an article...which I have to present to my "journal club" on Friday. I'm so excited.

Also, we met with some survey people this morning and found out that we should have had the required forms in like a month ago for Steph's survey to actually have enough time to do a good job. Kind of like how I should have had the IACUC form in a month ago. Not our fault though, because we're not in charge of this project and have no idea what needs to be done. Have I ever mentioned how much I love a lack of organization in my life? Makes me all warm and squishy inside.

Hallmark Commercial

2007-06-04T09:21:00.000-06:00

Have you seen the Hallmark commercial with the singing card for Father's Day where the dad opens it and it starts playing "Can't Touch This" and then the dad imagines himself as MC Hammer in the music video? Hilarious! And now I have to go pick up Steph and drive to Boone.

Which witch is which?

2007-06-03T19:24:00.000-06:00

My boss is going to be gone all week in Seattle for a conference. We're finally going to shelters this week to record their standard operating procedure since neither shelter has anything like that in writing. We're also meeting with survey people on main campus to talk about Steph's project. I'm really starting to feel the stress of this unorganized mess.

Weddings and Babies

2007-05-30T10:51:00.000-06:00

I'm getting used to going in to work for a couple hours in the morning and coming home in time to watch Full House followed by Step by Step. It's not that I don't work when I'm home, but I do watch TV while I'm working. You don't need your full attention to search for various types of meters or work on your abstract.

My cousin's wedding this weekend was...interesting. She has once again broken the mold in the family so I'm free to follow. First she lived with a guy without being married, so I wasn't the first one to do so. Then she had a very unusual wedding, so I'm pretty much free to do what I want!

It was an outdoor wedding, but they didn't get chairs so almost everyone was standing. The guy that married them was pretty odd, talking about how hearing birds sing at 5 am makes him think of Courtney and Joe's love. Oh, and he said Courtney's parents were Diane and Michael, when my uncle's name is Dennis. And they did readings with only one of them from the Bible (something from Song of Solomon--that part about my lover). If my grandma could stomach that, I think KP and I will be a-ok whenever we decide to tie the knot.

The reception was my aunt's part of the wedding, so it was *very* expensive with an open bar (as in, including top of the line liquor). It was a really good thing KP and I didn't drive ourselves down because we both got pretty drunk. I was drinking vodka and cranberry juice, and after the third one the bartender would just make it for me when I walked up to him. :P The next morning we both felt fine and my mom said we should have felt like shit.

There were also so many babies in the family!! It's all the grandchildren of my mom's cousins, so cute! I would really like to start a family soon after I'm finished with school. KP and I have been playing with baby names, but I'm sure by the time it happens we won't remember the ones we talked about.

Blue-green lightning racing stripes

2007-05-27T01:33:00.000-06:00

J came home from work around midnight, and she said when she was getting close to home on the interstate a car started tailing her really close, took the same exit she did, and was following her into the neighborhood. She was smart and rather than turning at our street she went around the long way, and they turned up our normal street. When she came around the long way and was coming down the street, that same car was sitting like four houses up from ours, and had turned around so it was also facing down the street. It was a white truck with a topper and blue-green lightning racing stripes but unfortunately in the heat of the moment she didn't think to look for plates.

So she drove past the truck, and went down to our house, pulled in the driveway and walked to the front door. As she was closing the door and locking it the truck drove by. She was freaked out and came in and talked to us (that's another story--for the first time ever, KP and I are sharing a room at my parents' house...a room with twin beds! :P). I said she should talk to our parents and they didn't seem concerned (but they were also sleeping), and she wanted to call the police. After we heard a truck drive by and KP peeked out the window and saw it was white, I agreed. She called to just file a report, and they ended up sending not one, but two squad cars over!

So mom and dad were still sleeping, and we had three cops in the entryway as J told them what happened. The guy that had arrived first listened to the story and told her since she didn't get plates there was nothing really they could do, so they left. And I started laughing hysterically. Ok, so there wasn't really anything funny. I must have been laughing from nerves.

Anyway, thinking back on it I'm actually kind of ticked at the officer's response. He saw J--a cute young woman--and said it was probably some guy who saw her driving and thought she was cute and wanted to meet her. If I had been thinking I would have said "In the middle of the night?!" but I was busy standing there quietly doing nothing. So she's going to be more observant driving, and KP had the good idea of her casually checking out the cars in the parking lot when she goes to work, because if she sees the same one there she'd be able to get the plates.

I know the police know what they're doing and this is probably an "isolated incident" but part of me wonders. Humans have all but lost the survival instincts we possessed when we first dotted the planet. But I think gut feelings are probably remnants of that. If your gut is telling you something's off, it probably is, and J felt like something was off. I also worry about my sister. As long as she pays a little closer attention to cars for a while I'll be able to breathe easier and I hope she will also.

Moggie the Moggie

2007-05-25T14:01:00.000-06:00

Go to England if you don't get it. Not that I've been there, I just know the lingo. At least as far as animals are concerned. :P

We took Moggie into the clinic last week because she had a raw, inflamed spot on her chin. Amoxi cleared up the inflammation but yesterday I noticed she had these pustules deep under her skin. So now she's on Clavamox which will hopefully clear up the deeper infection. I swear, we should just open a line of credit at the clinic. It's a great clinic and I like all the doctors, but I can't wait until I can treat my own animals!

A friend from school is in Minnesota for the summer, and a friend of hers found a calico kitty that's going to have 6 kittens soon. It's her job to find homes for them, and guess who she contacted? She said if we wanted one she'd save the cutest and nicest one. We *really* don't need another pet, but I said if we get to the end of the summer and she just can't find homes for them all we might take one. I can't knowingly leave a kitty without a home. I love Kaya, but I now know that kitties are closer to my heart. It's an odd turn-around, because I always thought I liked dogs more. Maybe it's because all of the responsibility is now mine, and kitties are so much less demanding. Not that I want Pigwidgeon to die (because he'll probably be around a few more years), but if a space opens up, I'm filling it with a kitty. My guinea pig days will be over. I may not even get another dog once Kaya's gone (in like 10-15 years :P).

Finding out my cat preference opens another possible career door. Cat only hospitals are becoming more and more common, especially in bigger cities where more people own cats because more people are busy and in apartments. It's something to consider, and I don't think I'd mind a specialty anyway (feline internal medicine anyone?).

Summer Strangeness

2007-05-23T12:53:00.000-06:00

This summer job is turning out to be so weird. Details that I would have assumed would be taken care of before it was even approved still need to be done. We have to go through IACUC (institutional animal care and use commitee) to get approval for the project, and that takes a month. So I can't even start my research until July. And the poster is due at the beginning of August. *screams and pulls hair* On the bright side I've been pretty much working from home doing some background research and reading lots of articles. It's boring, but it's nice not to be at school.

My cousin is getting married this weekend. She's a pretty hot artsy girl, and she's marrying a regular joe cowboy (whose name happens to be Joe!). He is really nice and they're obviously in love; it's just one of the stranger matches I've seen. Anyway, this wedding is taking place the same day as and an hour apart from the wedding of someone else in the family (like my mom's cousin's son or something, from Virginia, but he's marrying an Omaha girl--odd). So all the extended family from out east is flying in for that wedding in Omaha, but all the family here is going to my cousin's wedding in Lincoln. There's a big brouhaha about who's going to which wedding, because neither party was willing to even move the time so people could make it to both. My mom decided to have a party Friday night that everybody could come to so the whole family could get together (I think it's been like 10 years at least since we've seen the east coast family), and apparently that upset the mother of the bride in Lincoln because they aren't coming. People are so weird.

In other wedding-related news, I had such a nightmare last night. KP had told his mother that we were thinking about getting married (which we aren't, to my knowledge) and she took it upon herself to plan a wedding. Both of our families showed up and said they were so glad we were finally getting married and brought a dress and everything, and I totally freaked out but for some reason couldn't tell them I didn't want to have this wedding. The wedding was the next day, and I was in the dress (which was this really pretty turquoise color) when I finally just had to say I didn't want to do it. People were so disappointed and angry, and then K came to the rescue to drive me away. She ended up driving down the wrong side of the road toward traffic, and that's when I woke up. What on earth could this mean?!

West Coast Style

2007-03-09T14:56:00.000-06:00

As it turns out, I am still terrible at keeping my blog updated. Go figure. Just wanted to make a quick post that I'll be in Seattle for a few days checking the city out, then I'll be home with my parents for a couple days since I haven't seen them since Christmas.

School is pretty much terrible right now and I'm really glad we get a little break. There is no redeeming quality to the semester. I just have to get through it so I can go on to the next one.

Short but sweet (actually, kind of bitter).

Kitty Play

2007-02-22T11:55:00.000-06:00

Since I haven't gotten a picture of the kitties playing in the bathroom, I had to draw one to show what they do. Now imagine one of them makes the first pouncing move and then they race all over the apartment for the next few minutes. Hilarious.

Long Time No Blog

2007-02-22T10:41:00.000-06:00

I'm home sick from school today. It's either a stomach flu or a bad reaction to a new prescription, but either way I can't make it through classes--especially Anatomy lab...that smell makes you want to barf when you don't feel sick. I feel like I've been sick a lot more frequently since starting vet school than ever before. It must be the additional stress and this is how my body reacts to it.

On the bright side, since I'm home bundled up on the couch I get to watch the kitties play. By Monday Mogget had decided that maybe it was ok to have another cat in the house, and now they play all the time and it's really fun to watch. My favorite part is the butt wiggle right before one of them pounces on the other. Now if we can just get their ear problems and Sebastian's respiratory problems cleared up we'll be golden.

Spring Break is two weeks away. If I can make it through three exams in three days I'll get to fly to Sunny Seattle (ha) and stay with K's sister for a few days. I may not want to come back, though. This semester doesn't really have any bright points. It's a lot of stress, a lot of exams, and no classes that I really enjoy going to. Oh well, we're nearly halfway through it at least.

That's about all I have to report. Since I study all the time I don't do anything interesting or exciting.

Life's a Beach

2007-02-10T12:04:00.000-06:00

We're all adjusting to Sabriel being gone. I think Mogget's having the hardest time of it. She's never been a vocal cat and now she meows frequently. We've been playing with her more trying to wear her out, but the fact is we're just going to have to get another cat. We want to adopt again, but the truth is we're leery of getting another cat from the Ames shelter--and believe me, I know it's unlikely this would happen again. Still, the fear is there. Plus, I'm not quite ready to get another cat yet. I'm thinking maybe over Spring Break we can start looking for a new one.

Speaking of Spring Break, we really have an insane test schedule up until that point. We have Neuro Monday, Immunology Friday, Path the following Wednesday, Anatomy the following Friday, then right after that Neuro Monday and Histo Tuesday. Those last three days before Spring Break I don't think anyone's going to be paying attention. Then I get to go to Seattle for a few days. I'm excited about that. :)

We should get the urn we ordered for Sabriel soon, and we got some cute cubby shelves from Target for that and other knick-knacks to go on. I want to remember her but not, as K said, build a shrine to her. I am glad we took such a ridiculous number of pictures of her for the time we had her. KP and I have been trying to pick out one to blow up for a frame, and we're down to 6 and can't decide. The pictures were fun to go through, and helped us remember the fun we had with her growing up; not just the last couple weeks where she was fading.

Anyway, I think A is at the doctor and J is still sleeping, but I at least need to start studying Neuro so I can feel like I have accomplished something today.

It takes time

2007-02-06T09:19:00.000-06:00

I've been reading about stages of grief and found something I thought was pretty well-written:

"Grieving used to be much more ritualistic than it is today. In generations past there were set periods of time when certain customs must be observed. Today we are unfettered by these restrictions and might even be confused about when we should be done grieving. Actually, we'll probably never be done. We'll never forget the person we grieve for. Our feelings may be tempered more with good memories than sadness as time passes, but that isn't to say that waves of raw emotion won't overcome us way after we think we should be done. I think the trick here is to understand that the feelings will occur, try to keep them in perspective, try to understand why you feel a certain way, and if there are any unresolved issues that cause particular emotional pain, forgive yourself and others and if necessary talk with someone about it. There is no completion date to grieving...let your emotions flow through the stages of grief."

In my case I am grieving for an animal rather than a human, but as I've said, I consider pets to be family members. The pain I have experienced at Sabriel's loss proves to me that is absolutely true.

I woke up this morning and for a moment thought it was Sabriel snuggled up with us rather than Mogget. Not that I don't love Mogget--because this would have been just as painful if it was she that was gone--but I really miss Sabriel. I can't believe she's not just around the corner waiting to jump in my lap to snuggle.

I know it's going to take time for the pain to become less intense. At this point I would settle for the moment of her death to stop its repeat cycle in my mind's eye. It is simply unbearable, and impossible to forgive myself for what I know was necessary when I can't stop thinking about it.

It's Over

2007-02-05T14:38:00.000-06:00

I was right. That was by far the most difficult thing I have ever done. We got there and wanted to cuddle her but she just wanted to wander around the room because, like I said, today wasn't a bad day. So we sat there sniffling and cuddling her short amounts of time before letting her explore some more. Eventually R came to take her back and put the catheter in her front leg, and then they brought her back in. When I said I wanted to be in the room, I thought I'd just be there. Instead, R took a blanket and put it in my arms, then laid Sabriel in them. She was kind of grumpy and wanted to get away as I sat there cuddling her, and then when I said we didn't need more time R stuck the needle in the catheter and started to inject the drug. Sabriel didn't like it and tried to nose the syringe away. That was when I lost it. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," and then she just went limp in my arms and it was over. KP was crying, too, and it's only the second time he's cried in the 3 1/2 years we've been together. I think that says something about how much we loved Sabriel. I've carried my share of euthanized animals out of an exam room, but it in no way compares to when it's your baby that you lay on the table.

We're getting her ashes back and a clay paw print. Of all the animals I will own in my lifetime, Sabriel is probably the one I will mourn the most because she was so young and didn't have a chance no matter what we were willing to do for her.

Mood: drained

And in the end, it wasn't enough

2007-02-05T12:05:00.000-06:00

I just took this picture. It's about an hour before we have to leave for the clinic to put you to sleep. You have no idea.

I remember the day we found you at the shelter. It was August first, and I was set on getting a kitty before school started. And there you were, so tiny and adorable and weak, but we were going to make you better because we would take care of you and give you the best life for a long time. It turns out we only got six months because you have something we couldn't fix, and I wish I would have made sure to make the most of the time we had.

I'm sorry for all those times I irritably pushed you off of my lap or shoulder because I was trying to study and you were in the way. I would have held you more than you wanted had I known.

I'm sorry I'm too much of a coward to take your temperature one last time because if it was one of the times of day where it was close to normal it would be so much harder for me to take you in and let you go.

I'm sorry that this afternoon doesn't happen to be one of the bad ones where you obviously feel terrible. And I'm sorry I wish it was so it would be easier for me.

I'm sorry when we got Moggie we didn't give you as much attention because we had a new baby to play with.

I'm sorry you have to die this way, because for whatever reason there's still no way to cure this disease.

You are the sweetest, most gentle kitty I will probably ever get the chance to meet. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, topping the list over something I thought was untoppable. You took a piece of my heart the day we found you and you have it still. I hope that someday in the future I will find a kitty that has your same gentle spirit, and maybe I will get that piece back. I love you.

Mood: broken

I think this is the end

2007-02-04T15:25:00.000-06:00

I think we will be bringing Sabriel to the vet tomorrow to put her to sleep. It's been less than a week since we started her on the drugs to help control things. The problem is that unless we give fluids every night they don't keep her temp down. Last night KP and I tried giving fluids at two different times and she just struggled so much we gave up. I can't seem to teach him how to hold her well enough to get things done. This afternoon her temp was up to 105.6. I don't think I can keep doing this to her. I can't rely on K to come over and help every day to give fluids, and if we don't do it her temp shoots up and she feels like shit.

What makes this so hard is that she's not on a steady decline. She'll have a good day and then one like this. It makes it difficult to make the decision that it's time to let her go. KP doesn't want to give up on her yet, but it's getting too hard for me. I worry every day that her temp is going to spike, and I feel terrible when she gets so stressed when we give her fluids. It's like she's done. Another factor I can't ignore is that I'm not studying the way I need to because I'm spending so much time on Sabriel. I already bombed one exam and don't want to continue the pattern. I feel terrible saying it but it's true.

I think I'm going to feel guilty no matter what I do. K said she felt relieved when she put her cat to sleep. I'm sure I'll feel that, too. It's just a shitty situation that we got a gentle, loving kitty that ended up having this disease. There's nothing we can do to change it and I think we've done all we can to prolong her life.

Then there's the problem of how long we wait to get another cat. I don't think Mogget's a good cat to have in a single cat household, but it's like when someone's spouse dies. How long do you wait to start dating again?

I'm going to call the vet in the morning to explain everything and make sure there's nothing else we can try--which I'm pretty sure there isn't--and probably make an appointment to bring her in at the end of the day. I wish I could get KP to agree with me that it's time. I don't want this to be only my decision.

Mood: sad

//edit: And now her temp is down to 102.3. See what I mean about not knowing when to let go?

//edit: Well, K came over and we got fluids in her in one try. It was much less stressful and afterwards she was starving for dinner. I'm going to talk to the vet in the morning still. But I'm also going to wait and see if her temp doesn't fluctuate as much tomorrow. K says she doesn't mind giving fluids every day--thank goodness--but if she's going to help us that much I insist on paying her for her help. We'll see how it goes.

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

2007-02-02T10:30:00.001-06:00

I'm sitting in what is quite possibly the worst lecture ever. It's not that Dr. Vaclav Ourednik is a particularly bad speaker aside from occasionally struggling to understand him. I don't even care that he changed his powerpoint lecture between yesterday and today so I was frantically scrolling trying to figure out where the hell these notes were. It doesn't matter because I'm not paying attention! It's Friday. My cat has FIP and it's been a rollercoaster trying to figure out how to keep her stabilized (still not sure we've done it, although her temp was 102.8 this morning which is the lowest it's been in two weeks). We have an Anatomy test at 2 o'clock and I would say I"m marginally prepared due to the previous sentence. It's just been a rough week.

I would say I want a drink but I don't even crave alcohol anymore like I often did in undergrad. I suppose I shouldn't complain about that considering alcohol is bad for you. I just want to take this test and hopefully pass, curl up on the couch and watch House with Sabriel in my lap and KP next to me and not worry about anything for an hour.

Mood: tired

You Don't Understand

2007-01-30T06:33:00.000-06:00

This has to be fast because I need to shower before class. I just wanted to vent a little about how people think a pet should be put to sleep the second they find out it has a terminal illness. Guess what: life is terminal. I'm one of the growing number of people who look at pets as a member of the family, and if you found out a family member had terminal cancer but could have two or three good, happy months left you wouldn't deny them that.

I'm still coming to terms with the fact that Sabriel isn't going to be around when I have kids and live to be an old, grumpy cat. To me that makes the time we have left with her even more precious. I think if you asked most small animal vets how they felt they would voice irritation that people choose to euthanize when their pet could still have a good quality of life just because it's easier for them (money-wise, time-wise, and emotionally). My sister and probably my parents--although I haven't talked to them yet--thinks it would be better to euthanize and that I need to look at it from "an outside perspective". I don't understand. Why would it be better for me to look at this unemotionally? I don't think there's anything wrong with allowing your feelings to help you make a decision as long as it's not a selfish one. If the drug combo doesn't bring down her fever and give her a better appetite, she won't have an improved quality of life and we'll have to put her to sleep. But we have to give her the chance.

Mood: dealing

Sabriel has FIP

2007-01-29T17:35:00.000-06:00

That's all. She'll be on prednisone until she gets sick enough that we decide to put her to sleep.

Mood: heartbroken

Sabriel the Sick Update

2007-01-26T17:15:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty sure that at least for now A and KP are the only people who read this. It's okay, though. I like have a private journal that my best friends can read.

In the past week we've spend $550 on Sabriel. She's had a FUO (fever of unknown origin) and not much of an appetite, lethargy, etc etc. The bloodwork we redid today showed that her WBCs and specifically neutrophils have dropped a tiny amount but nothing significant. Combine that with the fever that's staying around 104 and to me that means the Baytril isn't really working. My vet, ever optimistic, is having me continue the Baytril as well as getting back on Clavamox. We're also putting her on Lactulose every 8 hours to try to get her to poop since she hasn't done a whole lot for the last four days or so. We've already been giving her fluids but we now have to give even more because the Lactulose draws water into the colon.

So, in the morning we'll give Clavamox and Lactulose. At noon we'll give Baytril. In the afternoon we give more Lactulose. In the evening we'll give Clavamox again and at least 100 mls of fluids. In late evening we'll give another dose of Lactulose. Holy crap...this is going to suck.

The worst part is we're spending all this money and time trying to help her feel better, and in a week we'll get the results of the feline panel back from Antech. It tests for FIP, toxoplasmosis and a couple other things I can't remember. The "FIP specific" test doesn't actually definitively tell you if a cat has FIP or not, so if the titer comes back positive we're going to have to have a talk about what that actually means. She said that Antech says it's specific so it must be specific, but I just found an article by a board-certified internist who talks about why it isn't. Either way, if she really has FIP we pretty much just treat symptoms as they come and keep her comfortable as long as possible. I don't know as much about toxoplasmosis, but although she has the basic symptoms (fever, lethargy, some weight loss) she hasn't exhibitied eye or neurological problems.

I hate having her not feel well. I haven't been doing a whole lot of studying for school lately because all I do is worry about her, and I have an Anatomy test next Friday. I guess there's nothing more I can do for Sabriel in the meantime so I may as well start studying. I foresee a bad grade though if we get bad news from the panel because we'll be getting it a day or two before the test. :( I'm just going to keep crossing my fingers.

A Pros And Cons List

2007-01-23T20:32:00.000-06:00

Positives:
-Sabriel is FeLV negative
-Her temp was under 104 last I checked
-She ate a little a/d, a couple bits of chicken, and some tuna
-We got fluids in her and she's urinating
-She's on Baytril and hopefully it will work
-She seems a little more lively today

Negatives:
-She's still constipated and really needs to poop within the next day
-She's on Baytril, which is bad for young animals and won't even work if it's not a bacterial infection
-She hasn't been interested in drinking
-If it's not a bacterial infection we're screwed
-Last I checked Bush was still president and was in fact giving the State of the Union address and pretending he likes Nancy Pelosi

I just threw that last one in to keep you on your toes. We'll know in the next few days if Sabriel's getting any better. $360 in the hole and counting but it's worth it. Keep your fingers crossed.

Mood: cautiously optimistic
Music: Bush's sonorous voice

It's not easy being green

2007-01-22T08:21:00.000-06:00

Sabriel seemed to be feeling a little better yesterday and her temp was down to 103.5, but she was having a lot of yellow/green snot coming out of her nose--yet another symptom, and one that has nothing to do with the suspected UTI. This morning her temp was back up to 104.8 so back to the clinic she goes. At least she's had an appetite throughout. My biggest fear is that when she was tested for FIV/FELV at the shelter when she was a baby they did it wrong or it hadn't shown up yet. It would break my heart. Logically I know how unlikely this is but I still worry. I want them to figure out what's wrong with her and get it fixed. I wish I knew enough to do it.

Mood: worried

It's true what they say about you

2007-01-20T14:09:00.000-06:00

I just spent a few wonderful minutes reading the blog of a British woman who is only two years older than I am. British English is so much better than our watered-down lazeified version (not that I'm saying we should still be speaking British English, because that would mean the Revolution--probably would have been called insurgency in GB if it happened today--failed, and we would most likely be speaking German today anyway). That is what I'm convinced our English is, especially southern English. It's just plain lazy. "Y'all" rather than "you all" is a prime example. I'd much rather be saying bloody and blimey and calling people prats. American English needs to get with the program and become more fun to use.

Anyway, on to the point of this post. I've always heard that vet clinics in Ames are bad. Considering that's where a College of Veterinary Medicine is located it would surprise me if the local vets were bad unless good vets moved elsewhere to avoid competition. Either way I've always been pleased with the clinic we take the kittens to. It's a little pricey (a lot pricey considering when I worked in clinics I got products at cost) but nothing KP and I can't handle, and it's worth it to have a vet we like and trust until I can treat them myself. I swear, I will graduate someday.

I found out this morning that the rumor must be based not on the vets but on the staff.

Yesterday Sabriel started acting screwy, lying by herself and suddenly growling at nothing. She was even doing this when sitting in my lap, and abdominal palpation revealed nothing because a) I've only begun learning what to look for and b) she tensed up so much I could barely feel anything through her muscle wall. But she started licking her vulva a lot so I had KP hold her under the bathroom light and I looked and sure enough there was a goodly amount of yellow discharge there. I haven't learned enough about anything to know what was going on with her except to know that it wasn't good and I didn't think she had a urinary tract infection. But again, what do I know, I've just started out.

The clinic opened at 8 this morning so I called and explained the situation. Whatever receptionist or assistant or tech I was speaking with said sorry but they were booked and would I like an appointment on Monday. I said no, and I'd be happy to just drop her off so they can look at her between clients since I think she probably just needs antibiotics. Then this woman said I could always go to Iowa State (yeah, their teaching hospital hours are M-F; I don't want to know what I'd be paying in emergency fees just to get an infection looked at) so I said I know because I'm a student there but you guys are my clinic. Finally she just got my name and phone number and said she'd talk to the vets when they came in.

I waited until 9:30 and hadn't gotten a call back so I phoned again. I was told they'd had a couple emergencies come in but I could bring Sabriel in and drop her off and they'd look at her later. Now, I've been in that situation myself and I know how crappy it is, so I felt rather contrite and meekly said I'd be on my way. I dropped her off as soon as I got off the phone, and it is now noon and I haven't gotten a call about her. I don't know what type of emergency they had so I don't want to jump down anyone's throat, but they close at one on Saturdays. I definitely don't want to pay for boarding until Monday just because they didn't have time to look at her.

I don't know how this is going to end; most likely, it will be expensively. I do know that when I work as a vet in a clinic, I will make sure the staff doesn't try to turn away clients that feel like they have an urgent need just because the appointment book is full.

//edit: We picked her up when the clinic closed at one and they sent us home with Clavamox (I did at least call that one) and said they couldn't get a urine sample and want to try again on Monday. The second we walked in the door she climbed into her litter box and evacuated what they had been trying to collect for three hours. Cats...you either love their style or hate it. The surprise was that she had a temperature over 104 (normal is around 100-102) so didn't I feel like an ass for not having taken her temp at home. We have tickets to go to the Turtle Island String Quartet tonight and they're front row and I really want to go, but now I feel like we should stay home and keep an eye on Sabriel. We'll see. If we don't go it's not a huge loss monetarily because student tickets are cheap and we got a 15% discount on top of that. I'll probably console myself by buying a CD though.

Oh you gotta have faith!

2007-01-19T15:44:00.000-06:00

This article is an SI link off of CNN's front page:

Vet accused of injecting horses with vodka pre-race

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) -- A veterinarian will be in court next week to face accusations he injected horses with vodka to calm their nerves before races at Fonner Park in Grand Island.

Jay Stewart faces four misdemeanor counts of attempting to influence a race by tampering with a horse. His trial starts Wednesday in Hall County.

In a story first reported by the Omaha World-Herald, Stewart denied any wrongdoing. He didn't immediately return a message from The Associated Press seeking comment. A person who answered the phone at his Grand Island clinic said Stewart was in surgery Friday morning.

Stewart is alleged to have administered vodka to horses in 2005 -- before the fourth race Feb. 20, the sixth race Feb. 27, the fifth race March 11 and the ninth race April 9.

Want to know what the worst part about this is??

Check out the name of the president of the Nebraska Veterinary Medical Association. Yep, same guy...

I'm so proud this happened in my home state and made national news. Little bits of information like this add up and degrade people's faith in our profession, so if these alleged events really happened I want to give a big shout-out to Dr. Stewart and say THANKS.

Mood: irritated
Music: Dr. Booth's lecture